We're facebook friends in real life
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
This house was built for laser tag.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
