I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize