she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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