He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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