im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
