This is not my ceiling
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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