whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
