There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
