i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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