I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
