Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
