The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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