Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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