just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
