the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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