Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
