census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize