i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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