i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
