Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
