Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
if i died would you start the facebook group?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
