Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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