Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
