dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
