you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
