I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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