Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
