There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
