you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
We're too hungover to prance.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
