Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Yo dont text me then not text me
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
