You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
