I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
