Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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