My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
