just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
