And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
