Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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