Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
one might say we're banned from that church
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
