i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
