I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
