i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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