Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
