I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
smell my finger.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
