Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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