butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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