I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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