So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Randomize
