theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
