So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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