i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
