it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
