can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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