I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Randomize
