I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
