Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
