I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
