Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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