You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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