He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
