I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
