Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Randomize