Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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