I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
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